The F Word

Fact: The character depicted as Elaine Summers is in no way an actual depiction of the artist. I do not know her, and I have never met her. This piece of writing also contains a bit of profanity, just giving everyone a heads up. Enjoy, or flame on!

FAIL! My mind screamed as I hit the gallery floor. The cable I fell from, some how had detached from the harness that suspended me in front of the blank canvas wall. I had tried to get a bit fancy and do a flip, but apparently the cabling was not made for acrobatics. Shaking my head, I chucked to myself. Massaging my ass, I thought, "This is going to make a colorful bruise in the morning."

Fearful! I was so glad that I had not fallen from the great heights of the site I had visited the week before. I pictured the post card that I had brought back with me as testament to my visit, I recalled the image saying MODERN RUINS in big bold block letters. Within these letters were images from what looked like dilapidated construction sites. What the hell was I thinking when I had walked along those decayed, rusted metal beams 30 stories above the pavement? I knew I had done it to be extreme, and try to overcome my fear of heights, so walking parallel to the floor, on a gallery wall in a museum would be a piece of cake.

Fuck! My thoughts were abruptly jolted back to reality, after hearing Elaine Summer's irritating high pitched squawk of a voice scold me for being careless. "Get-get- get-get-get us choreographer Trish Brown!" Elaine screamed. I tried to shut her irritatingly high pitched voice out of my mind. "That was by..." she started. "Here she goes again.." thought to myself. "You know what WE say!" Elaine continued. I rudely interrupted her by exclaiming "Barbra Dilley, Douglas Dunn and Mark's party every day! Why the hell can't I have a bit of fun too?!"

Fractured! My selective hearing was only grasping shattered fragments of Elaine's lecture, "Whiteny Museum!...American Art!...March 30th!" I stood up and started to walk away. "Oh no you don't missy! I am the artist here...you get back in that harness and walk!" Elaine shrieked. I was so tempted to say that I felt like the artist myself, because I controlled how I walked, whether it was slow, fast, forwards, or backwards, but I thought better of it. I had already given her enough attitude for the day.

Figures! Elaine was crazy after all! My eyes scanned over her as she sat on her stool. Elaine totally reminded me of a piece I had seen by Sophie Tauber-Arps. Elaine's attire consisted of a navy blue crocheted cap snugly fitted over her light bulbed shaped head, colorful rainbow shades perched on her pointy nose, vibrant red lipstick that definitely went past the boundaries of her lips, and to top things off, she wore a small rectangular pin emblazoned with the word "Dada" affixed to her blue skull cap.

Foreign! That was exactly how I felt as I raised my arms like wings to gain my balance. At first, it was quite difficult to get accustomed to, especially when gravity was pulling at me from my right side, and not from my feet. My gait was almost weightless, as my feet lightly glazed the surface of the blindingly white wall. It was quite different to have a dark piped ceiling at the left of my peripheral, and the grey cold floor on my right.

Forlorn! I was trying to purvey the image of a lost wanderer. We were given strict instructions to not laugh or joke, or even to smile as we were walking past others. We were to remain faceless. I felt like a zombie, minus the arms outstretched. Clad in black, I continued to walk aimlessly across a sterile landscape. Gliding on, I trying to rid my mind of any thought that would bring the slightest emotion to my face. I tried to keep it as blank, as the white wall I was made to walk on.

Frightening! My shadow stretched below me long and sinister. It chilled me to the core. I tried desperately to not focus on it's long, and wraith-like appearance, but instead at the blank wall the rose before me.

"Fruitcake!" Elaine screeched shrilly at Jeff, when he had plowed into me on purpose as a practical joke. He kept walking, and pushing me forward, as I vainly tried to stand my ground, and impede his path. We both were laughing at the incident. Of course that only made Elaine keen in more on our lack of...

"Focus!" Elaine barked at us from her stool.